i'm not sure if this is a diary, or somewhere to write about anything... so i'm using it as both. today has been alrite. went to play some poker with the boys and out of 5 i came second. no money but a bit of pride at least. otherwise its been pretty quiet. my modems fucking me off though... keeps disconnecting and has done over the last two weeks. something that never happened before. aol can gimme a new one methinks!
at this moment in time... i'm kinda lost. single, jobless, and uninspired. bit poop innit? i've never been the most motivated of people, but at this very second i really cant be arsed. worried about a close friend too.... so thats been on my mind. especially as its affecting a few of my other close friends... bah to life.
i'm still not sure of the purpose of this, but its true what a friend said. sometimes its just nice to write things down. good shit luv.
about women... i'm really confused at the moment. i'm not looking for love but i'm missing it... its a catch 22 kind of thing. i'd like teh closeness but i dont think after my last relationship i can be arsed. i think it must have put me off. but it'd be nice to get some attention that isnt a strange person or an ex. i kinda wish i had the motivation to try get a bit fitter and lose some weight... but i really cant be arsed. which lets be honest... is sad.
i need to fuck off for a bit. i need a holiday. but i need money. and money, is a scarce thing round these parts. any donations?
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